Vows 2.0

Today, my wife and I celebrate 11 years of wedded bliss. We wrote our own vows, because we are artsy as fuck. She is still the cream in my coffee. Well, she is the butter in my coffee anyway – I don’t use cream.

To commemorate this special day, I have written a few new vows, now that I understand this marriage thing a little better than I did as a young pup.

To you, my dear wife, I promise to always put the toilet seat down and clean up any mess I might make while relieving myself in the middle of the night with my eyes closed. This I promise forevermore. Also to you, the beautiful mother of my children, I promise to never strangle one of them out of frustration even though you can just make more…Super easily.

On this day of joy, I promise you that I will always be at least this sexy, there may be a little bit more grey in the years to come. You said you liked that, you do still like the Silverback look, don’t you?

I promise to you my sweet, that I will never leave you for someone younger, unless she agrees to be my sugar momma and lavish me in a lifestyle more affluent than the one I am used to, and she agrees that you can come too. So I guess that means I’m not leaving, rather I am exploiting a younger woman in this senario.

I promise to always like your cooking, even when you make something that I think I can make better. I will never tell you that I can, I was simply wait until it is my turn to cook the same dish, and blow your fucking mind. You’re welcome baby.

I promise never to obsess over Final Fantasy VII again.

I promise never to spend a whole paycheck on crack cocaine ever again.

I will always give you the last piece of pizza. It’s still in the fridge taunting me as we speak. I may have to rethink this one.

I promise to make sexual advances toward you no less than 13 times a day, unless otherwise provoked.

I promise to tell you that you’re beautiful every time I see you.

I promise never to go to bed too mad to tell you I love you.

I promise I will be your shoulder to cry on, and only fight your battles when you need me to.

I promise I will love you this much for all of my days.

As always, if Hell was a place, and I knew you were going there I would hold your hand through the gates so you didn’t have to walk alone.

You are my shining light, a light the will not dim…

Here’s to another 11 years of good times, bad times, take out, bad horror movies, laugher, and love. It has been a blast beautiful. You truly rocked my world.

My Reason Why

Today, is the 12 year anniversary of my lady and I being an “item”. At the time that we got together, my life was completely different. I had a job that was going nowhere, I was the vocalist for rock band, and I drank every day.
My wife on the other hand, was a young mother, and though I had actually been interested in her for some time, until this point I was in another relationship, and since I am a faithful partner, that was that.

At this point in my life, at the age of 23 years, I was a mess . The only place I felt like I had power was on stage with a microphone. The rest of my life I felt like was controlled by someone else. People are less than kind, and many times in my life kindness has been mistaken for weakness.

She reminded me how important, and how sovereign I was and am over myself. She showed me what it was to be loved and to really give yourself over to another.  In short, she rocked my world. So here we sit, at the brink of middle age the only thing that has changed is the number of trips around the sun we have made together, that number growing with every passing day.

We don’t really fight. Not that we have never disagreed, we do that all the time, but fighting, saying hurtful things and such, we never do that. You don’t spit venom at the people you love. Though we have gone to bed upset with each other, had disagreements that left one of the sleeping on the couch, and generally driven each other crazy from day to day, it’s never enough not to say I love you before we go to sleep.

I make it sound like it’s all sunshine and fucking rainbows, but the fact of the matter is most of the time it’s very hard. Not because she makes it hard, and not because I do, but because life is hard. And without someone in your corner, someone to have your back and tell you it’s going to be alright, it’s a little too much to handle at times.

Life will give you hope, and life will rip that hope right out of your hands. Life will give you chances, watch you fall, struggle, and drowning in a sea of hopelessness. That same force will also give you love, a reason to keep going when you feel like there’s no other reason to. It’s really all you need.

There’s a secret to this love thing, and it’s all about insanity. Find someone that’s the same kind of crazy as you, and build a life together. You don’t need marriage vows, you don’t need giant diamonds, you don’t need anything but each other, your crazy picadillos, and time to work it out.

So here’s to another 12 years Megan Elizabeth. I love you more today than I did over a decade ago. If you ever forget that remember this:
if Hell were real place and I knew you were going there, I would hold your hand all the way down so that you didn’t have to walk alone. You are afterall, my reason why.