Parenting Hacks

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Having children can be both rewarding and trying. Sometimes, we find ourselves leaning more towards the latter, but a lot of that I think is time management. The following is a list of life hacks designed for parents. With all the time that you will save managing your children, you can devote more time to enjoying them.

1. Chores

Running a household can be difficult, to say the least. It’s easy to get caught up in the day today mad dash to complete household duties. My suggestion, is have at least 7 kids. That way, you have seven extra people to do things you don’t want to do. Your own genetic workforce…bam. Say goodbye to laundry, and hello to Netflix. Orange is the new black season 3 start soon, without mopping the floor, cleaning the bathrooms, and painting the trim on the exterior of your house, you will be binge watching in no time.

2. Pets

Get a dog. After house training, you will have A furry four-legged distraction on your hands. Granted, you will need about seven of these can distract each of your 7 children when they are not cleaning the house cooking the meals and otherwise being servants…um I mean siblings.

3. Beverages

Teach your 4 to 7 year old, the proper way to make an old fashioned. This way, not only will they have a skill useful to them in the future, but you won’t have to make your own drinks anymore. Maybe you like a martini, gin and tonic, or a Manhattan. This one is limitless, so choose accordingly.

4. Sports

Why play with your kids, when for a little bit of money, you can enroll them in a sport and let the other kids play with them. There is even a person that volunteers to teach your child how to play the sport. Thanks to the miracle of modern technology, you can binge watch Sons of Anarchy at the field with a clear conscience thanks to this distracting pastime.

5. Sleep

Go to the store, and by a mortar and pestle, chewable melatonin, and a jar labeled sugar. Grind up your melatonin into a sugar like powder, and place in the jar. use 4 or 5 tablespoons of this in place of sugar on desserts. I will also accept grape flavored benadryl in Kool Aid. Bedtime will never be a problem again. You are welcome.

The final hack did not make the list of five, but it is the most profound. Spend time doing what your children like to do. Video games, Legos, coloring, it doesn’t matter. Give them the time and attention that they deserve. They are the part of you that will live on, after you cease to. Do not tell them how important they are to you, show them. That memory will out last  any toy, game, or piece of technology you give them, and it will not cost you anything, but a little bit of your time. If they were important enough to have,  then they are important enough to be shown it, everyday. All joking aside, they are worth it, and so are you.

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