Whatcha Scared Of?

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Part of the process of goal chasing, is facing your fears. I have lots and lots of them most of which are unfounded. Rejection, failure, being laughed at, and these are jusassociated with writing. One thing that I have learned in this process of growth, is that people are kinder that I gave him credit for. I get a lot of compliments, well, more compliments than I expected anyway.

Once this started happening, I learn something new about myself. I am really bad at accepting compliments. I understand the general idea, someone compliments you and you say thank you – simple right?

Not so much.

Saying thank you is not the problem. The problem is the feeling I get inside whenever someone compliments me. Immediately, I go to this place when I tell myself that they are only being nice, or that I don’t really deserve any accolade.

I know it’s unhealthy but I do it anyway. It is simply how I am wired, but I am trying to change that. One of the ways I am attempting this is by trying to be more objective about myself and what I do. In writing, part of the money that I am doing this is by going by a slightly different pen name from the one I was given.

I look at the name on the screen, and I am able to distance myself from it just enough to pretend. I become another character to be written, which is what I keep saying right? Be the hero of your own story. I guess I am taking that literally just to say thank you.

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