Well, this is the third post that I’ve written today. Feeling good about the writing process on the whole. By feeling good, what I actually meant is that I feel like I’m a poop flinging orangutang today, incapable of a coherent thought. Don’t worry, this isn’t one of those pity parties. I’m actually in a fantastic mood, and I’m excited for the future. There is a lot to look forward to that I will not get into right now, shit’s happening homies, I can feel it.
There’s one part of the writing process that I can not do on the road, and that is editing. I can talk into a microphone until I’m blue in the face, I type about 60 wpm, but unless those words are correct on the screen, all of you kind folks read it and think to yourself, “Wow this asshole spells like a 1st grader.”
Rest assured, I do spell like a 1st grader. If it weren’t for Microsoft Word, I would be fucked. Anyway, that isn’t really what I wanted to talk about this morning. I want to talk about growth, more specifically growth as a grown up.
Do you feel that hollow place inside your chest? That nagging feeling within that you are not doing what you are supposed to do? I am very familiar with that feeling, it’s been I’ve been ignoring for 34 years or so. Scratch that, it’s the one I ignored until I realized it was right all along.
You may not realize it, but life tends to give you hints. The Bread crumbs left along the path show you the way. Funny thing is, they are not actually bread crumbs, or even actual hints, but your mind interpreting them as signals from the universe, or whatever you like to call it.
Your mind sees what he wants to always, I don’t think that one’s destiny is all that much different. Listen to your inner crazy person and take a risk, put yourself out there. Stand up for something, fall in love with something you love to do. This is your story, you are the hero.
You may ask yourself, “why does this guy always tell me what to do? Be the hero blah blah blah,” well I guess it’s because I realized that all the pain and sadness can not be undone by mere financial success alone. Without meaning, a life can feel like it’s not worth living. Find that reason why you are excited to get up in the morning, and I swear it will be worth it. Mark Twain said, “the two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”
I swear this shit happens every year around my birthday. I know I’m usually pretty introspective, but the first week in February is always analytical to the max. I think in the last two days I have reregistered at NAU 10 times, submitted 3 essays to vice.com (which actually happened) and packed up my family and moved to Canada at least once.
Funny the writing thing was the only item on that list that was real.
Writing is like that friend in high school that always had a crush on you, but was too shy to say it. I put writing in the friend zone years ago thinking it couldn’t possibly feel the same way, but I was sure it did not think of me as someone who could belong. One day I woke up and realized that writing was there all along, ready to mend my broken heart when I put it out there to be let down.
The moral of the story is listening to the voices in your head, and that thing you like to do might just be the thing that you were meant to do. You are the bee’s knees dear reader. Every day baby.