Dear Troll

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I had no idea that my writing could cause such violent outbursts of verbal diarrhea, but it looks like I am the winner. Last night I was awarded with my first troll comment, written anonymously about my last post which is a fictional tale based in the factual past.

The comment was from “wil” who did furnished my with a fancy geometric photo, the standard of wordpress as a default. His (or her) name was in lower case letters, which is ironic as that is how I imagine them…small.

If you have been visiting me here in virtual space for long, you have read my mantras, my hopes for humanity. These wishes are not new, not original, and not hard. Be the change, don’t be a dick, my rights end where yours begin and vice versa.

This dude wil must have truly hated my story, and why do I share this? Because it bothered me I guess. Now that I have processed the emotions however, I do not give a single, solitary, perfectly formed fuck about this guy’s opinion.

Check it out:

I am who I am, no more or less. I cannot please every social tool out there, and the practice of trolling folks for your own amusement is so dick-hole-ish that I can’t even stand it. Granted I cannot create a post every time I get trolled, but the first time? Well, the first time is special.

Here is what he wrote:

“no one cares. your writing is shit and u are to. do us all a favor and go fuck yourself.”

You win troll…my heart is broken. Asshole. Ha ha ha.

11 thoughts on “Dear Troll

  1. This was hilarious. I’m so happy I came across it. I’ve never seen a troll comment on WordPress before. I’ve seen these everywhere else though – forums, imgur, reddit, oh, and Myspace! I have to share my experience:

    In 2007 (I was 16), I get a friend request from a girl who looked no older than 12. I add her thinking she’s harmless. She turns out to be my friend’s cousin, who apparently wanted to “up” her number of friends by looking at MY friend’s list of friends. Anyway, within two hours of her adding me, I get these comments on each one of the pictures in my “Photography” album:

    “Ew. Lyke, why are u posting this on Myspace? Dis is a social site, not a nerd site.”

    Or, “Uh, you call a garden angel fotography?” (The stuff I uploaded WAS really bad, overexposed, and uncreative)

    And my profile pictures: “Hahahaha. You wear glasses. Lyke, only nerds do that. This is Myspace. A place for kool people. Not you. LOL JK.”

    I wish I had screenshots to prove all this but the memory’s pretty clear. My friend apologized to me that Monday afterward, saying “She’s just a little girl!”

    I didn’t really know what a troll was at the time. I just thought the kid was having a hard time with life in general.

    She deleted me from her list when I posted a picture of a gazelle from my trip to the zoo. She wrote, in all caps, “OMG UR SO DUMB! WHY AM I LOOKING AT THIS?”

    Such an adorable little troll.

    • Wow. They really do start young I suppose. I was rather surprised to see the comment when it happened, enough so that I had to save it for posterity. I am glad you enjoyed it- I got a kick out of your troll story as well.

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