Unplug – Day One

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The following few days will be an account of the last week without Internet as it happened. I hope you enjoy our frustrations.

Well, so far it has been pretty easy. I am driving, I am thinking about the things I always think about- my kids, my book, the weekend, you know the usual stuff. It wasn’t until about an hour ago, that I realize how screwed I actually am.

I was thinking about a gift for my wife for christmas, and usually what I would do is search amazon, ebay, etsy, and several other sites to find the best price on said item. Now I get it; now I understand the extent of the challenge. I have no internet for the whole week.

It may not seem like a big deal, but the Web is so interwoven now, a lot of the time we use it without even giving it a second thought.  I do not wonder about answers to questions, I google answers to questions. I know everything I will want to know about an item I am buying before it is shipped to my door.
So far today, I have written down about 10 different things to search for next week, from prices to natural remedies to common ailments.

Blah.

I have spent most of my life without a smartphone,  this shouldn’t be difficult, but it is. I am too dependant on a tiny glowing screen, on having the answers, on instant gratification. One day is coming to a close, six more to go.

Oh and as for progress on the book – I am doing it the old fashioned way. Man, my penmanship is terrible…

Radio Silenced

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As an experiment, me and my wife will be living sans technology for the next seven days. I will be carrying a notebook (like I used to) instead of a smartphone. Next week, when I am back to blogging I will share the experience of stone-agery with y’all. That is all for now…be well friends.

Priorities

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I woke before the sun – hell, I alway do. Today however, I had a different agenda.
“Wake up buddy,” I said nudging my little boy awake.
“Hi dad,” he croaked as he tried to blink away the sleep, “how was your day?”
The greeting, is one of those things that just stuck. He always asks, no matter what time. It never fails to make me smile.
“Do you want to go on an adventure?” I rubbed his head, smoothing out the mass of dark blonde hair, cut into a lazy mohawk.
On hearing this he sprang up, his eyes wide, his six year old body bare save for his green lantern underwear. “Yeah, where are we going Dad? Have you seen my pants? ”
I handed him his tiny blue jeans, and with the arangement of his sweater and his hood, we set off in the pre-dawn light for our adventure.
“Hiking,” I answered. I took a long sip of my coffee, savoring the warmth. It was a chilly morning, especially since the sun had not yet made its ascent into the sky. Only the slightest hint of the color of daybreak was creeping over the  mountains to the east – the pale red and orange hues of the autumn desert sunrise.
It is my favorite time of day, something I am determined to teach my boy. We waked down to the river. It was not a long hike,  perhaps a mile in total. The distance was not the goal, just the time together.
I look up the cliff face by the water. It was dotted with small caves. “Look buddy,” I said pointing to them, “animals live in there.” The astonishment on his face was worth more than any price I have paid for anything.
“Is it a mountain lion cave dad?”
“Probably not buddy. Look at those tracks, ” I pointed down the shore to some small prints in the sand. “Those are raccoon tracks, see the little claws?”
Our back and forth went this way for an hour or so, we talked about being a big brother and the job of protecting his little sister, school, girls, and duck (mostly ducks) but most of all I wanted him to know how much he meant to me.
Saying that you love someone is easy, showing it isn’t always. I get caught up in my own struggle for happiness and contentment in life, and I lose track of what is important.

Finding balance is important.
My son and daughters are important.
My wife is important.
Work is work.
Please don’t forget that.

I have been given a challenge for the next week that I would like to propose to you, dear reader. For one week (the next week in fact, for me anyway) no technology. No internet, no smartphone, nada. Can I do it? I am not sure, could you? We will see what happens…

Opposite Of

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The opposite of love is not hate, that would be too easy. If that were the case breakups would not be so heated and complicated. Emotionally driven displays of dominance over property and such are proof positive that the emotions involved in separation are not the opposite of love – hate is too passionate an emotion to he love’s polar cousin.

So what then?

I am writing this problem,  not living it. Again, it was one of those situations in the vastness of this story that sort of just showed up. I’ll tell you, at times I am not sure who is writing this book – me or the muse that sometimes possesses my brain.
Okay, so two of my characters  (not main characters, well not yet anyway) were once married. One of them is still hopelessly devoted to the other, but the other is showing something else entirely which really made me puzzle over the original statement made in this entry. What is the opposite of love?
The way she (Dema, her name is Dema) is toward him (Franklin) is not cold, not cruel, not distant.  It is something I have only experienced once a long time ago,  but it was my emotion I was feeling.
I saw a former love in the grocery store. We exchanged pleasantries and such- she was not the person who ended this coupling, it was me so perhaps that has something to do with it  but it was a fascinating turn of events.
It was not a lack of attraction,  she was still a pretty young lady, and it was not anger, malace, hate or any other negative emotion. It was something that I shared with Dema toward Franklin – it was indifference. The absence of emotion is the closest thing I can think of to explain it.
Image courtesy of jl10ll.wordpress.com

So Fly

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I’m so fly, when I walk in the room you see me in slow motion. I have a full time fan operator to blow my hair back. The song “Total Eclipse of the Heart” plays on a continuous loop all around me so everyone knows how fly I am.
I am so fly, I can get away with using such a 1992 term for my flyness  such as fly- but I am though so it’s all good baby. It is with that flyness that I keep you reading this description so I should be thanking you for my being so goddamn  fly.
With my fan operator and theme music I walk in the room – all slow motion like. You see me, you alway see me. I have to walk through all the groping hands to get to the other side of every building , slapping five and blowing kisses all fly like I am.
I am not overweight,  pounds just want to be near me, being so fly and all. The grey hairs too seem to multiply just to be near my awesome flyness. My head is a dance party for greys, swaying in the cool breeze of my full time fan-job.
It is good being me. Period.
Did you see that ellipsis? So fly I can spell out one of my periods.

This has been my personal affirmation for feel good Friday.  Hope you enjoyed it you sexy bitches out there in the facets of you-niverse.

Okay Clarity

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I have had a rollercoaster of a day. I have felt amazing and worthless at the very same instant. it has felt as though the world was toying with my emotions and taking great pleasure in doing so.

I did actually kill a character maliciously in fiction.  Snapped his neck – yup, It was good. I felt like Johnny Cash. I killed a man named Reno just to watch him die (on paper anyway) and I did it as a means of therapy.

Can’t kill people, at least I think I read that somewhere…

My last post felt more emo than
usual, so I thought to explain myself a bit, even though that isn’t easy to do. On second thought, I will simply say this:

Being a grown-up sucks and now that I have accepted that fact, I am over it.

Mountain Climbing

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I was on top of the world for a moment.  Just high enough to see the ocean of success from the peak I had climbed to.  I thought for a moment that everything was finally going to be the way I had imagined.

Perhaps it still will.

I have a bad habit of letting other people get inside my head.  The shitty thing is, that when it is happening I am aware of it. I can practically see the words falling from their lips.  I can hear it in the tone, the slight discord of the negative, of the slight.

So the end result.  I was on top of the world, now I am drowning.  Oh, and I killed another character, this time it was on purpose.